posted by Brandy on Nov 15
Words of advice, from an expert:
- For starters, don’t go to Tijuana with your best friend (a female) looking for a “Donkey Show.” Not a good idea…… They do have them (I’m sure) but when you start asking where you can find one, news travels fast and anxious authority figures will soon be trailing you.
- Don’t tell ANYONEthat your name is Brandy. Use some sort of pseudo-name such as Bernice, Betty, Bertha or Marge. The name “Brandy” doesn’t bode well when suddenly it free pours INTO your glass all night along with random and numerous hits of Tequila Slammers.
- If you are going to dance with a POLE, don’t lick it (for god’s sake) and definitely don’t hump it! You don’t know where it’s been.
- No matter how much you have had to drink and NO MATTER how HOT the Marines are that are begging you to do it, don’t MAKE OUT with your girlfriend. Again, you don’t know where “she’s” been.
- When it’s time to go home, don’t lip off to border patrol as they are writing you a ticket for public intoxication. Allow your friend (the girl) to flirt, fuck and do whatever she needs to do to get you back to the United States SAFELY.
- No matter how logical it seems to you, please don’t ask that the driver (your infamous friend…again who is now seeing double!) close one eye in order to follow the lines on the road.
- Finally, when heading from Tijuana to your hotel in San Diego, after 2 1/2 hours of driving and signs for the Disneyland exit start appearing, you have gone TOO FAR!